I 



MADE 

IN 
PARIS 



A PLAY OF HUMOR AND HI3TORY 
By FREDERICK J. POHL 




Copyright, 1921, by Frederick J. Pohl 
All Rigfhts Reserved 



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MADE 

IN 
PARIS 



A PLAY OF HUMOR AND HISTORY 
By FREDERICK J. POHL 

Author of Laugh ana Groiv Wise, Love and Grow Wise, 
Gold of the Sun God, Gas, The New God, The Embarrass- 
ing Baby, America's Sacred Cow. The Cobra's Head, etc. 



NOTICE 

Professionals and Amateurs are hereby 
warned that "Madk In Paris", being 
fully protected under the copyright 
laws of the United States, is subject 
to a royalty and anyotie present- 
ing the play without the consent of the 
author or his authorized a.'^ents will be 
liable to the penalties by law provided. 
Applications for professional and an a- 
teur acting rights must he made to 

Frederick J. Pom. 
359 Halsey St., Brooklyn. N. Y. 



Copyright, 1921, by Frederick J. Pohl 
All Rights Reserved 






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CHARACTERS 



BENJAMIN FRANKLIN 

PIERRE AUGUSTIN CARON DE BEAUMARCHAIS 
COMTE DE VERGENNES, Foreign Minister of France 
LORD STORMONT, British Ambassador to the Court of 
France ; later, a British Peace Commissioner 
SILAS DEANE, American Agent in Paris 
ARTHUR LEE, American Agent in Paris 
MAJOR THORNTON, Secretary to Lee 
WILLIAM TEMPLE FRANKLIN, Benjamin Franklin's 

grandson 
DR. FRIEDRICH ANTON MESMER 
DESLON, Mesmer's assistant 
VOLTAIRE, (Jean Francois Marie Arouet) 
JOHN LORIXG AUSTIN, of Boston 
JOHN ADAMS, American Peaci Commissioner 
JOHN JAY, American Peace Commissioner 
RICHARD OSWALD, British Peace Commissioner 
STRACHEY, British Peace Commissioner 
SOMNAMBULIE, a lady of the French Court 
SUZANNE, one of Dr. Mesmer's patients 

Time - 1778 and 1782 



In the makiuc: of America, the work of Benjamin 
Franklin in Paris during: the critical years of the War 
for Independence was of the utmost importance. 



MADE !N 



ACT I. 



Mesmer's Salle des Crises, Paris — February, 1778. 

(There is a large tub in the center of the floor ivith chairs 
around it. Enter left Major Thornton, followed by Silas 
Deane and Arthur Lee.) 

Thornton — We are the first arrivals, Mr. Lee. 

Lee — Mesmer's Hall of Convulsions! Thank God, America has 
no folly like this! 

Deane — Here is the tub of which all Paris is talking. 

Lee — Half of Paris, Mr. Deane, is talking of your dealings with 
Hortalez and Company. 

Deane — Mr. Lee, I must ask you not to associate my name with 
Hortalez and Company. What I know must not pass my 
lips. 

Lee — You have told Benjamin Franklin. As an American Com- 
missioner, I have equal right with Franklin to demand 
information as to Hortalez and Company. 

Deane — I should suppose, sir, that you had already made de- 
mands enough. You have asked the Continental Congress 
to recall me to America. You accuse me of refusing to 
account to you for certain funds I may have paid to 
Hortalez and Company. Public policy and my sacred 
promise require that I attempt no defense. For the sake 
of the independence for which our country is fighting, I 
may have to face disgrace and ruin. I am content, for, 
if I am recalled, my unfinished business with Hortalez 
and Company will be in the strong hands of Dr. Franklin. 

Lee — Dr. Franklin! Always Franklin! Am I to be entrusted 
with nothing? I insist on knowing who Hortalez is. 

Deane — You will never know, unless the agent of Hortalez and 
Company, Monsieur de Beaumarchais, commits the in- 
discretion of telling you. 

Lee — I will have no further dealings with you nor with Beau- 
marchais, your accomplice. 

Deane — Accomplice? 



MADE IN I'AKIS 



Lee— In theft! 

j)eane Theft! — If we were not fellow Americans with the eyes 

of all Europe upon us, I would show you how we ansv/er 
such words in Connecticut! — Arthur Lee, you are a dis- 
grace to Vii'ginia! 

Lee My family is one of the most prominent in that state! 

Deane— If you are representative of it, your family does not 
deserve prominence! 

Lee— That is an insult! . 

(Lee starts for Deane and attempts to strike him. Thorn- 
ton stejys between, saying: "Gentlemenl Gentlemenl" — Lee 
turns away to the right. Enter left Mesmer's assistant. 
Dr. Deslon, who stands at the door and announces) 

Deslon — Monsieur Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais ! — 
(Exit Deslon) 

Lee — Come, Major, I will not meet that Frenchman. I shall 
go out until more guests arrive. — (Exit Lee right. Enter 
left Beaumarchais. Thornton lingers a moment before 
he follows Lee.) 

Beaumarchais — Bon jour, Monsieur Deane. — Has the devil been 
plaguing you again? 

Deane — Mr. Lee has demanded my recall to America. 

Beaumarchais — I regret to hear it. Mr. Lee is too much a 
trouble maker. Besides, he does not know how to hold 
his tongue. The English spies hear everything he says. 
In consequence, the English have just captured three 
Hortalez Company ships off Bordeaux. No, I do not like 
Mr. Lee. He is probably honest, but so suspicious! — But 
you will pardon me? 

Deane — He is one fellow countryman I do not care to defend. — 
Monsieur de Beaumarchais, there is a question I should 
like to ask. Who created Hortalez and Company? — 
(Beaumarchais boxvs, nodding and smiling.) — I thought 
so! In the name of my country, I thank you for that great 
idea. You are the best friend America has in France. — 
(They shake hands.) 

(Enter left Deslon, announcing.) 

Deslon — Comte de Vergennes, Foreign Minister of France! 

(Enter left Vergennes. Exit Deslon. Vergennes, Beau- 
marchais, and Deane bow.) 



MADE IN PARIS 



Beaumarchais — Bon jour, Comte! 

Vergennes — Bon jour, gentlemen. — Mr. Deane, will Dr. Franklin 
be with us to-day? 

Deane — He will be here shortly, sir. 

Vergennes — It is for him that this private exhibition of mes- 
merism is to be held. The King desires to have Dr. 
Franklin's opinion of the cause of the extraordinary 
phenomena Dr. Mesmer produces. 

Deane — If I may take advantage of this moment, sir, may I 
urge upon you again to arrange a loan to help the Amer- 
ican States? 

Vergennes — Sir, I am charmed with the American Colonies, 
but I am a stickler for my duties towards Great Britain. 

Deane — England is the traditional enemy of France. What will 
help us will hurt her. 

Vergennes — Perfectly true, sir. But France at present is at 
peace with England. I could not make you a loan, though 
I desired to do so, without breaking with England. The 
affairs of America are in too doubtful a condition now to 
make such a break politic. Therefore, I can make no 
loan. But I can refer you again, as I did once before, to 
Roderique Hortalez and Company, a large Spanish mer- 
cantile house in Paris. 

Beaumarchais — Hortalez and Company: Americans received; 
Englishmen not admitted! 

(Enter left Deslon, announcing.) 

Deslon — Lord Stormont, British Ambassador to the Court of 
France ! 

Stormont — (off left) — You silly ass! (Vergennes places a ivam- 
ing finger to his lips. Enter Stoirmont. Exit Deane. 
Beaumarchais and Deane turn aivay right.) 

Vergennes — (hawing) — Lord Stormont. 

Stormont — Comte, I dropped in out of — ah — curiosity, to see Dr. 
Mesmer 's Convulsion Ward. His assistant tells me a 
special exhibition has been arranged for this afternoon. 
Will there be any objection to my remaining in this — ah — 
Hall of Fits? 

Vergennes — None, my Lord, if you find none. — There may be 
present several Americans. 



MADE IN PARIS 



Stormont — An Englishman is not afraid of Americans. — By- 
Jove! Who is that — (pointing) — that conceited-looking 
Frenchman ? 

Vergennes — That is Caron de Beaumarchais, the friend of tlie 
King. 

Stormont — Watchmaker turned courtier, eh? — How did he rise 
to favor? — By flattery? 

Vergennes — He has wit, intelligence. — (Beaumarchais is evi- 
dently amusing Lee by remarks upon Stormont.) 

Stormont — Ah yes, I remember. He spent some years in Eng- 
gland. — An upstart! A watchmaker! A tradesman's son, 
who nosed his way in among ancient and respected nobil- 
ity! — I will show him where he belongs. I will teach 
him his place! 

Vergennes — My Lord, he is not easily handled. 

Stormont — Let me alone with him! I will snub him! I will 
humble his pride! — Monsieur Beaumarchais, a word with 
you. — (Beaumarchais advances to Lord Stormont's side.) 
— You are a watchmaker. Here is my watch, monsieur. 
Please repair it as soon as possible. — (He hands the watch 
to Beaumarchais.) 

Beaumarchais — But, my Lord, I have ceased making watches 
for so long a time that I am inexpert. — (He returns the 
watch to Stormont.) 

Stormont — Surely you will remember how to repair my watch. — 
I beg you, do not refuse. 

Beaumarchais — Very well, sir, but I give you notice I have be- 
come awkward. — (Beautrtarchais takes the watch, holds 
it at arm's length, and drops it. He bows gracefully to 
Stormont.) — I warned you, my Lord, of my extreme awk- 
wardness. 

(Enter Deslon ivith Somnambulic and Suzanne. Exit 
Deslon. The ivomen come down center, laughing. Upon 
seeing Vergennes and Stormont, they stop abruptly, re- 
tire a step or two, arid courtesy.) 

Somnambulie — Oh! Pardon, Messieurs. 

Suzanne — (giggling hysterically) — We are Dr. Mesmer's sub- 
jects. We are to be mesmerized. 

Stormont — Mademoiselle, have you ever been mesmerized before? 



MADE IN PARIS 



Suzanne — Oh, yes, I've been cured several times. 

Stormont — Cured? — Once is not enough? 

Suzanne — Not Mrhen you have agitation of nerves. That is what 
I have. Lots of the rich ladies have it. — {She giggles.) 

Stormont — And you, Mademoiselle? 

Somnambulie — My case is unique. They all say I am a puzzle — 

Beaumarchais — Every woman is a puzzle, a fascinating puzzle. 

Somnambulie — (crossing to center) — Oh la! Monsieur Beaumar- 
chais, how you flatter! 

Stormont — But I don't see. What is there unusual about you. 
Mademoiselle? 

Beaumarchais — {whispering to Somnambulie) — English! 

Somnam.bulie — {to Beaumarchais) — Typical! — {to Stormont) — 
Why, milord, the effects of mesmerism upon us are so 
surprising that the greatest man in the world is coming 
to-day to observe them. — He is of your race. 

Stormont — V/hat Englishman is the greatest man in the world? 

Somnambulie — Your race, milord, but not an Englishman. — 
The great American, Dr. Franklin. — {She crosses to 
right.) 

Stomiont — {near center) — Franklin! — Comte Vergennes, a year 
ago, I warned you this fellow Franklin should not be 
permitted to enter Paris. You told me you would pre- 
vent him., but I think you only half tried. Now I prophesy 
that you will soon compel him to leave Paris. The cause 
v/hich he represents is a failing one. I have the latest 
nev/s from America, from absolutely reliable sources. It 
practically means tlie end of the Colonial i-ebellion. — The 
gTeater part of George Washington's forces have sur- 
rendered ! 

Vergennes — Of what date is this information, Lord Stormont? — 

{Stormont and Vergennes converse together.) 

Somnambulie — {to Beazirnarchais) — Do you believe what Lord 
Stormont said? 

Beaumarchais — 111 news, if true. 

Somnambulie — I am sorry, because I know it will grieve Dr. 
Franklin. He is such a dear, kind old man. 



10 MADE IN PARIS 



Suzanne — If he has to leave Paris, it will be a pity. He cre- 
ates a sensation wherever he goes. He makes Paris in- 
teresting. Just think of his going to Court among all 
the nobles, before the King and Queen, dressed as he al- 
ways is, in a plain brown Quaker suit with no wig, and 
for defense, a walking stick instead of a sword! — He is 
so original! 

Somnambulie — They say he wears a pair of double spectacles 
he invented for himself. 

Beaumarchais — So that he can look at two such pretty ladies 
at once! — (bowing.) 

Suzanne — (crossing to extreme left) — Is that the reason for his 
spectacles? (She giggles.) 

Beaumarchais — It is two reasons. — (hoioing again) — Seriously, 
he has combined two lenses in the one rim, the upper for 
ordinary vision, and the lower for reading. 

Somnambulie — That is almost as clever as your invention of 
the escapement balance for watches. 

Beaumarchais — Ah, Mademoiselle, where I have made watches 
that keep good time, but one little thing, Dr. Franklin 
has invented many things. When I come down the street, 
I am lighted by street lamps of his devising that do not 
smoke; I draw close to one of his stoves when cold, be- 
neath a roof protected from lightning by one of his light- 
ning rods. 

(Enter left Deslon, announcing.) 
Deslon — Dr. Benjamin Franklin! 

Somnambulie — Oh! He has come! He is here! The great Dr. 
Franklin! 

(Enter left Benjamin Franklin, escorted by his grandson, 
William Temple Franklin. Somnambulie runs to Dr. 
Franklin and kisses him twice. He smiles and gives her 
his arm. Temple Franklin drops back a step as Suzanne 
takes the other arm. The two women escort Dr. Franklin 
to the center. Vergennes, Beaiimarchais, Deane, and Des- 
lon crowd around Franklin and his grandson, zvelcoming 
them with acclamations of pleasure. Stormont remains 
at the extreme right.) 

Franklin — (sitting) — Friends, you overwhelm me. If I had as 
many tongues as all of you together, I would thank each 
of you separately. 



MADE IN PARIS H 



Beaumarchais — You have one tongue worth all of ours. 

Franklin — Yours, Monsieur, can teach mine how to flatter. 

Beaumarchais — Dr. Franklin, we have just heard news from 
America. 

Franklin — Authentic? — or by way of England? 

Beaumarchais — From Lord Stormont. 

Franklin — I am all attention. 

Beaumarchais — Lord Stormont says most of Washington's sol- 
diers have surrendered. Is it the ti-uth? 

Franklin — No, sir, it is not the truth; it is only a Stormont. 

{The groxip around Franklin laugh heartily, the women 
clap their hands, Beaumarchais cries :"Bon\ bonV — Stor- 
viont turns abruptly and stalks angrily off left.) 

Vergennes — I do not wish, sir, to echo my Lord Stormont, the 
British Ambassador, but I hope you can give us better 
news fi'om America than we have received the past twelve 
months. Your army fights no battles; it does nothing 
but retreat. Can the Colonies, small in population and 
relatively poor as they are, continue much longer their 
resistance to the English forces? 

Franklin — As for population, we are numerous enough; and as 
for riches, we have tremendous resources of which you 
in Europe do not dream. We have forests and water 
power, harbors and fisheries, minerals and fertile farms. 
Poor? — Why, every pair of American breeches is made 
v/ith four pockets, because its owner has so much money 
to carry. And the very tails of American sheep are so 
laden with wool, that each has a little car or wagon on 
four little wheels to support and keep it from trailing 
on the ground. 

Vergennes — Do you honestly believe your rebellion may succeed? 

Franklin — Sir, with George Washington and Tom Paine in 
America, there is little doubt of the outcome. 

Beaumarchais — And with Benjamin Franklin in Paris, there is 
no doubt of the outcome. 

Vergennes — Tom Paine? — Who is Tom Paine? 

Franklin — Washington holds the sword, but Thomas Paine holds 
the pen. He wields the weapon that is mightier. His 



12 MADE IN PARIS 

pen aroused the American continent to demand independ- 
ence; his pen encourages the zeal of Washington's men. 
Washington leads the material forces; Paine leads the 
moral forces of America. The spirit of the American 
nation v/ill never yield, so long as Tom Paine is there to 
spur it on. — Sir, that is the answer to your question. 

Vergennes — May I ask one more, sir? — Are the United Colonies 
truly a nation, or as Lord Stormont says, only a parcel 
of rebels? 

"Franklin — Sir, what make a nation? — If it be people of one race 
and custom, we are not a nation. If it be people all of 
one religion, we are not a nation. If it be people of one 
culture and learning, or of one climate, we are not a 
nation. But if it be people of common sympathy, common 
principles and united purpose, then we are a nation. 

Deslon — Ladies and gentlemen, all please move back! All please 
move back, to give me room to prepare the apparatus. 

(The group moves back, Suzanne and Somnambulie to the 
extreme left; Franklin, left of center; Vergennes, behind 
him; others, back center. Lee and Thornton enter right. 
Deslon busies himself with inserting rods in the tub.) 

Beaumarchais — Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the fa- 
mous Dr. Friedrich Anton Mesmer! 

(Enter Mesmer right, dressed in a lilac robe. .He ad- 
vances to the center. All except Suzanne and Deslon 
are seated.) 

Mesmer — Good people of Paris, and disting-uished Americans! — 
Twelve years ago, I completed my first study of the 
mysterious forces of Nature, and the influence of the 
planets on human bodies. I studied the influence of mag- 
nets on the nervous system. Later, I made my great dis- 
covery, which is that stars, planets, and magnets do not 
affect the body so much as does a certain force within us 
which I call animal magnetism. This animal magnetism 
flows through all matter. Much of this vital magnetism 
is concentrated in me. I have been able to cause marvel- 
ous cures in cases of conjested spleen, gutta serena, and 
agitation of nerves, — 

Suzanne — My trouble! 

Mesmer — or in other words, hysterical insanity.— {He asks Des- 
lon to bring forward a chair.) 



MADE IN PARIS 13 



Vergennes — Dr. Franklin, what is your opinion of Dr. Mesmer's 
theory of animal magnetism? 

Franklin — A natural philosopher does not accept theories until 
he has observed facts. 

Mesmer — In Vienna, I treated one patient at a time. In your 
great city of Paris, I have been so besieged by patients 
that I invented this baquet — (pointing to the tub) — to 
treat a great number at once. This baquet I will now ex- 
plain. It consists of a tub with appendages of iron. In 
it are layers of powdered glass and iron filings, in which 
are buried full bottles — 

Beaumarchais — Good to drink? 

Mesmer — If you like water. 

Beaumarchais — Bah ! 

Mesmer — Rods, as you see, extend from the tub. Around the 
tub, the patients sit, each holding a rod. A cord, attached 
at one end to the tub, is carried around the waist of each 
sitter. — (He adjusts the chair.) 

Vergennes — Dr. Franklin, what is your opinion of this tub? 

Franklin — A barrel of rum would work as well, and might 
have more effect on some. 

Mesmer — The first case I will treat to-day is that of Mademoi- 
selle Suzanne, afflicted with agitation of nerves, jumping 
])ains, and other peculiarities. — (Suzanne giggles hyster- 
ically as she takes the seat near the baquet. Mesmer 
places a rod from the baquet against her right shoulder.) 

Suzanne — I don't care for the tub. Dr. Mesmer. I prefer per- 
sonal treatment. — (Mesmer motions to Deslon, loho takes 
up a violin and begins playing softly. Mesmer removes 
the rod and places his hand on Suzanne's shoulder.) 

Suzanne — Your hand is so soothing. Dr. Mesmer. — (She giggles 
hysterically.) 

Mesmer — Where is the pain to-day? 

Suzanne — It is moving. Doctor, moving — Oh! — down my spine! — 
(Mesme7-'s hand follows the pain.) You didn't catch it, 
Doctor. It has gone to my head! — (She giggles.) 

Mesmer — It escaped me that time. Have I located it yet? 

Suzanne — I think you have, almost. — No, it slipped from your 
fingers again. It is going to my neck! 



14 MADE IN PARIS 

Mesmer — There! there! — Now I must have it. 

Suzanne— Yes, you have it. — No — It is jumping along toward my 
shoulder! (Mesvie7''s hands move totvards her right shoul- 
der.) — The other one! It is running out my left arm! 
My elbow! — (Mesi)ier's hands move doivn her left arm, 
encircling it, as though forcing the pain toivards her 
hand.) 

Mesmer — I will drive the pain out from your shoulder. Past 
your forearm, so. Past your wrist, so. Across your hand, 
so. Through your fingers, so — {Suzanne sighs con- 
tentedly.) — Now, you will never have that pain 
again. — {As he finishes, her left arm is extended hor- 
izontalli/ from her shovlder, and remains so after he 
moves away. Seeing that her arm is mesmerized, he makes 
a pass or two helotv it to release it, and it falls at her 
side.) — Under the influence of this mesmeric state. Ma- 
demoiselle exhibits an amazing case of sense transfer- 
ence. — (Deslon ceases playing. Mesmer places a rod from 
the baqnet against Sitzanne's waist. He takes up another 
rod at least five or six feet in length, places one end in 
the baquet, and holds the other end of it in his left hand. 
He stands as far away from Suzanne as possible.) — 
What am I saying. Mademoiselle? — {He ivhispers to the 
fingers of his right hand.) 

Suzanne — You are saying that you are vei-y glad you have 
cured me. 

Mesmer — And now? — {whispering again) 

Suzanne — You are saying that you have finished my treatment 
for to-day, and you thank me for coming. 

Mesmer — Do you see? She can hear with her stomach! — And 
now. Mademoiselle Suzanne, will you please let Mad- 
emoiselle Sonmambulie sit here — {Suzanne giggles hys- 
tericvAly. Somnambulie and Suzanne exchange seats. 
Mesmer stands behind Somnambulie.) — Now I shall pro- 
duce a state of artificial slumber, or somnambulism. Be- 
cause of the frequency with which I put Mademoiselle 
into this, trance-like condition, I have nick-named her 
Somnambulie. — {Deslon begins playing.) — Close your eyes, 
Somnambulie. Keep them closed — {He makes downward 
passes before her face.) — You will soon go to sleep. Go 
• to sleep. Sleep. Sleep. — {Suzanne yawns.) — Now, Som- 
nambulie, you are so fast asleep that you cannot open 
your eyes. You cannot rise from your chair. Try to do 
so. — {She tries in vain.) — No, you cannot rise. — Now I 



MADE IN PARIS 15 



will ask you to do something. Twirl your hands about 
each other. So. Backward. Enough. — Now you see, 
gentlemen, in this state of artificial somnambulism, the 
patient does what I tell her to, and can do nothing I 
forbid. — (Deslon stops playing.) — One of you try to wake 
her up. — {Temple Franklin steps forward at the right. 
He calls to her.) 

Temple — Wake up, Mademoiselle, wake up! 

Beaumarchais — If you knew what a nice-looking young man it 
is, Mademoiselle, just eighteen years of age, you certainly 
would open your eyes to look at him. 

Mesmer — Shake her, young man, shake her! 

Temple — I might hurt her. 

Mesmer — No fear, shake her! — {Temple, with great embarrass- 
ment, gently prods her shoulder.) 

Beaumarchais — How inconvenient to be mesmerized! 

Mesmer — I shall now tell Mademoiselle something she is to do 
after she wakes up. — What shall I order her to do? — Who 
has a suggestion? 

Beaumarchais — When Dr. Franklin came in, she kissed him ac- 
cording to good French custom, but she omitted her 
duties towards his gi-andson. Ask her to kiss Mr. William 
Temple Franklin. 
{Temple looks dismayed.) 

Mesmer — Mademoiselle, do what Monsieur suggests. 

Temple — {crossing to the extreme right) — No! No! — Don't wake 
her up! 

{Mesvier makes upward passes before her face, and claps 
his hands. She tcakes and rises. After her gaze slowly 
falls upon Temj)le, Temple runs off right, and she pursues 
him. Suzanne, giggling hysterically, follows.) 

Mesmer — {crossing right) — Gentlemen, you have seen my power. 
If there are any cases of suffering which I might relieve, 
send them to me. The rich I charge; the poor I treat for 
nothing. 

Beaumarchais — Do you treat lovers? 

Me-smer — Lovers do not yield to treatment. — I bid you all good 
afternoon. — {General murmur of "Good afternoon. Dr. 
Mesmer." — Exit Mesmer right.) 



16 MADE IN PARIS 

Vergennes — Now, Dr. Franklin, what is your opinion of mes- 
merism? 

Franklin — It is clear to me that if anyone takes treatment with 
Dr. Mesmer long enough, he will either be cured or die. — 
I do not question that Mesmer effects cures, many of 
them. But this magnetic fluid theory, this universal ani- 
mal magnetism does not appear reasonable. I should say 
that mesmerism is rather the action of the imagination. 
When Somnambulic believes that she is to be put to sleep, 
and the belief make a sufficiently strong impression upon 
her imagination, she is, to all appearancees, really asleep. 
So also with the case of jumping pains. If Dr. Mesm.er 
had suggested to her that the pain was to locate itself in 
her big toe, it would have done so. 

Vergennes — I thank you for your opinion. Dr. Franklin. Ever 
since this popular craze of mesmerism came to Paris, 
the King has desii-ed that it should be investigated by 
someone competent to understand it. 

(Suzanne enters right, giggling hysterically. Behind her, 
come Temple and Somnambulic, side by side.) 

Suzanne — (down right) — She did it! I saw her do it! It v/as 
so thrilling! — (She giggles.) 

Franklin — (rising and speaking to Temple) — And so, young 
man, you let yourself be caught! 

Beaumarchais — He would like to see her mesmerized in the 
same way again. 

Franklin — (to Somnambulie) — Did you really kiss him, my 
dear ? 

Somnambulie — I didn't want to, but — 

Franldin — Both cheeks? — (Somnambulie nods affirmatively) — • 
What a good Christian my grandson is! — He turned the 
other cheek! 

Beaumarchais — A most pious young man! — Ladies and gentle- 
men! Attend! — I have a .surprise to announce. — (Exit 
Deslon left.) — The natural philosopher of America, Dr. 
Benjamin Franklin, and the genius of Europe, the French 
philosopher, Voltaire, are to meet in your presence, to- 
day, for the first time! 

(Voltaire enters, leaning heavily on the arm of Deslon. 
All stand respectfully silent as Voltaire advances to a 
position facing Franklin.) 



MADE IN PARIS 17 



Beaumarchais — Dr. Franklin, to you, whose name Frenchmen 
have honored for a generation, and whom it has been our 
pleasure to have living among us in Paris for two years, 
to you we give our affection, our reverence, and all good 
wishes. — To you, our countryman, Voltaire, who for two 
generations have added glory to the name of France, and 
who have just returned to Paris after many years of ab- 
sence, at the age of eighty-four, to you we give our re- 
spect, our adoration, and the plaudits of Frenchmen! 
You, Voltaire, have spent your life destroying the super- 
stitions of mankind. In thus destroying, you have cleared 
the ground for the building of better things. To such 
constructive work. Dr. Franklin, you have devoted your 
life of seventy-two years. — Behold the greatest destruc- 
tive mind of the Old World, and the greatest construc- 
tive mind of the New World! 

(Voltaire and Franklin shake hands. .Cries of: "Vive la 
France! Vive rAmerique! Vive Voltaire! Vive Frank- 
lin!") 

Beaumarchais — It is not enough. You must do more than shake 
hands. 

Franklin — What must we do? 

Beaumarchais — It is necessary that you embrace, French fash- 
ion! — (Voltaire and Franklin embrace. Cries of'. "Vive 
les philosophes! Solon and Socrates!") 

Franklin — Monsieur Voltaire, I am honored. — Here is my grand- 
son. I pray you give him your blessing, the blessing upon 
a young man, a beginner in philosophy, of an aged 
scholar, accomplished philosopher, and sage. 
(Temple gets doivn on one knee, and Voltaire places a 
trembling hand upon his head.) 

Voltaire — God and Liberty! 

Franklin— Sir, you properly couple God and Liberty. There 
are some people who ignorantly suppose that you do not 
believe in God. 

Voltaire — ^If there were no God, it would be necessary to invent 
one. 

Franklin — If there were no land of liberty like America, it 
would be necessary to create one. — (applause) 

Voltaire — Friends, let me go now to my carriage. I am very 
ill. I took this journey to Paris against the orders of 
my physician. — (Voltaire and Franklin hoiv to the others 



18 MADE IN PARIS 



and to each other. Deslon and Franklin assist Voltaire 
to the door left. At the door, Voltaire and Franklin 
turn and hoio once more.) — Adieu! Adieu! 

Franklin — To you, Monsieur, humanity will never say adieu! 
{Exeunt Voltaire, Deslon, Franklin, and Deane.) 

Somnambulie — Dr. Franklin makes me love America. 

Beaumarchais— There are many in every country v>7ho sympa- 
thize with the cause of America. I found them in Prussia 
as well as in England; even in Russia. 

Somnambulie — I have heard it said, Monsieur Beaumarchais, 
that you went into Russia disguised as a woman. 

Suzanne— (gi(jgling)—B.ow thrilling! 

Vergennes — It is true. Mademoiselles. He cannot deny it. 

Beaumarchais — I do deny it. I did not go disguised as a woman. 

Vergennes — You have told me yourself, Monsieur, that you 
entered the Muskovite Empire dressed as a woman. 

Beaumarchais — Dressed as a woman, certainly, but not disguised 
as one. For you see. Mademoiselle, — {twirling his moxis- 
tache) — I am a woman. 

Suzanne — How droll! 

Somnambulie — What extravagant things you say, Monsieur 
Beaumarchais ! 

Vergennes — You carry the contradiction of what you say on 
your upper lip. Monsieur. Who ever heard of a woman 
with such a moustache? 

Beaumarchais — Ah so! I am caught! I confess. What I said 
was not the truth; it was a Stormont! 

Somnambulie — Monsieur, how did you succeed in acting the part 
of a woman in Russia? Did you escape detection? 

Beaumarchais — I had every Russian moujik making love to me. 

Somnambulie — {right of center) — But how can you act what 
you do not understand? This very afternoon you declared 
that all women v/ere puzzles to you. 

Beaumarchais — But indeed I can act the part of a woman. I 
will bet you a finger watch, such as I made for the Prin- 
cess of the Royal Family, against the fan in your hand, 



MADE IN PARIS 19 



that I can go tomorrow to Dr. Franklin at Passy dis- 
guised as a woman, and deceive him into thinking I am 
a woman. 

Somnambulie — Done! It is a bet! But you will lose. Women 
are no puzzles to Dr. Franklin. 

Beaumarchais — Women can easily deceive the wisest of men. — 
Gentlemen, — (addressing Lee and Thornton) — I rely on 
you not to give Dr. Franklin the slightest hint of my 
coming disguised. 

Lee — We will not, sir. But I hope you will not take up much 
of Dr. Franklin's valuable time, sir, with this foolery. 

Beaumarchais — {crossing right to Lee) — Your zeal in your 
country's affairs, Mr. Lee, will more than compensate for 
the time Dr. Franklin may lose. — Personally, I am more 
concerned with the necessary loss of my moustache. 

Vergennes — Let the hero of your play, The Barber of Seville, 
cut it off. 

Beaumarchais — Well said, Comte. — Mademoiselle, take good care 
of that fan for me! 

Somnambulie — (to Suzanne) — On which finger will my new 
watch look best? 

Lee — (back center) — Ladies and gentlemen, I bid you all good 
aftei-noon. — A most extraordinaiy mesmeric exhibition, 
ladies. — (Exit Lee and Thornton. Temple converses with 
Somnambulie and Suzanne. Vergennes and Beaumarchais 
together move sloivly totvards the left.) 

Vergennes — The chances of the United American Colonies to 
hold their own against England without further aid from 
us, seem almost hopeless. You must go further with the 
Hortalez business at once. I will give you a million livres. 
— (Exit Vergennes and Beazcmarchais.) 

Somnambulie — Mr. Franklin — 

Temple — Call me Mr. Temple. — People do so, not to confuse me 
with grandfather. 

Somnambulie — Mr. Temple, then. Before you escort us to our 
carriages, Suzanne and I would like a word together. — 
if you don't mind? 

Temple — Not at all. Mademoiselle. — I want to look at the inside 
of Mesmer's tub. 



20 MADE IN PARIS 

(Sovinambulie and Suzanne cross to the extreine left. 
Sor,inaiiibidiG sits.) 

Somnambulie — What are you going to do with him? 

Suzanne — That is your question, not mine. It is you he is inter- 
ested in. 

Somnambulie — That is inconvenient. If it were you — 

Suzanne — My dear, don't you see your opportunity? The way 
to make Gaston perfectly jealous will be to carry on a 
most outrageous flirtation with this young A;,:erican. 
Since he is Dr. Franklin's grandson, all the v/orld will 
hear of it at once, and Gaston will be your devoted slave 
immediately. Besides, it will be a pleasant flirtation. This 
Mr. Temple is good-looking. 

Somnambulie — It is not fair to him. 

Suzanne — All is fair in love. — It is the only thing to do. 

Somnambulie — (rising and sitting in chair left of center) — Mr. 
Temple, I hope you have not been getting impatient? 

Temple — Yes, I have, impatient to look at something more at- 
tractive. Mademoiselle, than this old tub. Nov/ I am able 
to do so! — (Suzarine giggles.) 

Somnambulie — You have been with Monsieur Beaumarchais 
learning gallant speeches. 

Suzanne — You will both pardon me. I must huri-y home. — 
{Temple moves as though to accompany her.) — Oh no, not 
at all necessary. My coachman will be at the door. — Au 
revoir! — {Suzanne exits left, giggling hysterically.) 

Somnambulie — You must not mind Suzanne's running away like 
that, — her not wanting you to accompany her. You see 
she — Come over here. I must tell you this in confidence. 
Sit down, right here. — {Temple appears somewhat dif- 
fident.) — No! Bring the chair nearer. — You see, she is 
engaged to a most jealous young man, who would be furi- 
ous if any other handsome young man were seen alone 
with her on the street. She is in love, — (sighing) — for- 
tunate girl! — Perhaps you don't know what it is to be in 
love? 

Temple— Well, — I — 

Somnambulie — Wouldn't you like to learn? You Americans 
have a reputation for being slow in such matters, but 
there are always exceptions. 



MADE IN PARIS 21 



Temple — Say, I should like to show you around a bit out at 
Passy. Could you come tomorrow? 

Somnambulie — Who will be there? 

Temple — Oh, Mr. Lee, and his Secretary, Major Thornton, and 
grandfather, — 

Somnambulie — And Monsieur Beaumarchais disguised as a 
woman! — Of course I will come! — {Enter left Thornton.) 

Thornton — I beg your pardon. — Mr. Temple, your grandfather 
will want you soon to help him with his correspondence. 

Temple — Oh! — I have been forgetting! 

Somnambulie — I will not delay you a second. Show me at once, 
please, to my carriage. I will drive out to Passy tomor- 
row, and you shall meet me at — (Exit Somnambulie and 
Temple.) 

(Thornton cautiozisly looks off right and then signals to 
someone off left. After a moment, he signals agairi. Lord 
Stormont enters left.) 

Thornton — All have gone, my Lord. We can talk here with 
safety. 

Stormont — What information have you secured? 

Thornton — {handing a paper to Stormont) — Here is a copy of 
a despatch received by Franklin from Philadelphia yester- 
day. 

Stormont — {examini7ig the paper) — Major Thornton, you are 
rendering valuable services to his Majesty. I will men- 
tion your name in my next report to the King, and re- 
commend that he direct the Prime Minister, Lord North, 
to reward you appropriately. 

Thornton — Lord Stormont, I am doing my best under circum- 
stances of extreme difficulty. 

{Stormont puts his hat on a chair. When about to sit 
on it, he awkivardly removes the hat from between his 
legs and places it on the floor.) 

Stormont — Ah! — Have you investigated this business of Hor- 
talez and Company? 

Thornton — Yes, my Lord, and I have discovered that it is as we 
suspect. Hortalez and Company is merely a blind. The 
French cannot openly aid the Americans without war 
against England. And so, they have resorted to subter- 



22 MADK IN PARIS 

fuge. They refer the Americans to a newly-established 
Spanish mei-cantile house in Paris, — Roderique Hortalez 
and Company. The Americans find Hortalez a dealer in 
muskets, bombs, powder, cutlasses, brass cannon, bayon- 
ets. He has on hand enough uniforms, shoes, hats and 
such to equip an army. When they ask to see Hortalez 
in person, they are told that he is always at home in his 
chateau. But his confidential agent, Monsieur de Beau- 
marchais, is there to give them what they want. 

Stormont — By Jove! Don't they have to pay for what he gives 
them? 

Thornton — For very little of it, my Lord. 

Stormont — And who is this Roderique Hortalez? 

Thornton — My Lord, Hortalez is none other than King Louis 
XVI himself! 

Stormont — {jumping up) — By George, these French are clever! 
— We must drag them out into the open. 

Thornton — Do we want war with France, my Lord? 

Stormont — No, hang it all! — By Jove, what are we to do? 

Thornton — My Lord, wait until we have captured George Wash- 
ington and hanged Tom Paine and a few other rebels. 

Stormont — Jove! That's what I call an idea! — {He leans over 
the chair upon ivhich he had been sitting, in a vain en- 
deavor to reach his hat upon the floor. Then he clumsily 
lifts up the chair and sets it aside in order to pick up his 
hat.) — Meanwhile, Major Thornton, learn all you can at 
Passy. 

Thornton — Just so, my Lord. I am sure Dr. Franklin does not 
suspect me. 

Stormont — As soon as the next packet arrives from America, 
let me have the news at once. 

Thornton — I will, my Lord. — You go out first, my Lord. — I will 
come out later, so that we may not be seen together, my 
Lord. 

Stormont — Bally good idea! 

{Exit Stormont left. Thornton remains, filling his pipe.) 

{Curtain) \ 



MADE IN PARIS 23 

ACT II. 

Benjamin Franhlin^s house at Passy in Paris. — The next day. 

{There are tivo desks up stage, back to back, littered with 
papers and books. Arthur Lee and Major Thornton are 
seated at the desks. Lee is at Franklin's, the one to the 
right, xvith his feet upon it. Thornton is busily working.) 

Lee — I am certain the Continental Congress will do what I ask, 
Major Thornton. They cannot fail to act favorably upon 
my demand that they recall Silas Deane. It is about time. 
He has nothing to recommend him but a fondness for fine 
clothes. 

Thornton — Have you been able to discover, Mr. Lee, how much 
money he has paid to Hortalez and Company? 

Lee — I have not taken the trouble. 

Thornton — Mr. Lee, if I may make a suggestion, sir? 

Lee — Your suggestions are always acceptable. Major Thornton. 

Thornton — (leaning forivard and speaking cautiously) — A man 
of your talents, sir, — {Lee makes deprecating gesture) — 
I mean what I say, sir. A man of your talents should 
not be restricted by having to consult other commission- 
ers. If you made strong enough representations, the 
Congress might take action, even in the case of Benjamin 
Franklin. 

Lee — {dropping his feet) — Major, you are a daring man! 

Thornton — I know you are too, sir. 

Lee — Well, it isn't a matter of courage. Benjamin Franklin is 
no man to strike back resentfully. — Can I find a plausible 
accusation? — {turyiing to the papers on the desk) — Here, 
let me look through his documents. — Bills; draft on Dr. 
Franklin; draft on Benjamin Franklin; paid; another 
draft; memorandum of private loan secured by Benjamin 
Franklin; more bills marked paid. — Great Scott! This 
is careless! — A private memorandum from Comte Ver- 
gennes, Foreign Minister of France, marked confidential. 
— This is astounding! The British would give a thousand 
pounds to lay their hands on this! I must lock it up. — 
{risiyig) — The Comte must have presented it when he 
came an hour ago, and Franklin simply laid it down on 
his desk v/here anyone might pick it up and read it. — 
Doesn't he know there are spies in Paris? 



24 MADE IN PARIS 



Thornton — What does it say, sir? 

Lee — I said, doesn't he know there are spies in Paris? — (Lee, 
with the document in hand, gets a key from a coat that 
is hanging over the back of a chair at the extreme right, 
returns to the desk, unlocks a draiver, puts the paper 
within, and locks the draiver, replacing the key in the 
coat pocket.) — There he sits in the next room with that 
snob, Comte Vergennes, playing chess! Meanwhile, I have 
to take care of his important documents. And all the 
time, I am at my wit's end to know how to make Congress 
acknowledge my services. 

Thornton — Shall you remain here, sir, to see Monsieur de Beau- 
marchais play his practical joke on Dr. Franklin? 

Lee — Not I! — That fellow Beaumarchais sickens me. 

Thornton — As I came out from the center of the city this morn- 
ing, sir, I heard rumors of a signal message from the 
coast. A ship from America — 

Lee — (jumping to his feet) — There may be a messenger for us 
on the way. I must go at once. — (He rapidly crosses to 
left, and then pauses.) — Oh! My coat, please. Major. — 
(Thoi'uton crosses to nght, takes up Lee's coat, and in 
carrying it to Lee, extracts the key. He helps Lee on 
tvith the coat.) — Tell Dr. Franklin to gTiard himself more 
carefully against spies. 

Thornton — ^Yes, sir. 

Lee — I shall return as soon as I hear the news. 

Thornton — Very well, sir. — (Exit Lee left. Thornton listens at 
the door right; he then moves swiftly to Franklin's desk, 
unlocks the drawer in which Lee had placed the document, 
removes the document, relocks the drawer, and after a 
moinent's reflection, drops the key on the floor beside the 
chair at the extreme right. He seats himself at his own 
desk, and after glancing hastily at the dociiment, begins 
to make a copy of it. Enter Temple.) 

Temple — What are you doing, Major Thornton? 

Thornton — Nothing much, sir. 

Temple — I thought I heard some one moving in here. — (He sits 
down at Franklin's desk and looks over to see what 
Thornton is writing.) 



MADE IN PARIS 25 

Thornton — I am merely copying a paper which Mr. Lee had — 

Temple — (relaxing his suspicious attitude) — Oh, Mr. Lee's. — 
You musn't disturb any of grandfather's papers. Things 
on this desk look a mess, but I know where everything 
is exactly. — (looking through the papers on Franklin's 
desk) — Why, you have disarranged these papers! 

Thornton — Not I, sir, Mr. Lee sat there a few minutes ago, sir. 
He looked over certain bills. 

Temple — (failing to find on the desk that for which he is look- 
ing) — That is queer! — (He rises, goes to the table at ex- 
treme right and searches through the papers ujyon it.) — 
I am sure grandfather said he left it in this room. — 
(While Temple's back is turned, Thornton rises, slips the 
document beneath the papers on Franklin's desk, and re- 
seats hvinself just before Temple sivings around. Temple 
again exa^nines the papers on Franklin's desk, and finds 
the document.) — But I see things haven't been seriously 
disarranged. — (Temple places the document in the center 
of the desk, and with apparent carelessness drops two 
letters upon it. Enter right Benjamin Franklin and 
Vergennes.) 

Vergennes — (crossing left) — Dr. Franklin, I shall always re- 
member that game of chess! 

Franklin — Why, sir, there was nothing unusual in your victory. 
You always win at chess as you do in diplomacy. 

Vergennes — I hope not by the same methods. — (to Temple) — 
Young man, your grandfather fails to beat me at chess, 
only because he thinks more about America when he is 
playing than about the pieces on the board. Just when 
I v/as going to checkmate his king, he took his king up 
and put it in his pocket. I remonstrated. "Yes, sir; con- 
tinue," he said, "and we shall soon see that the party 
without a king will win the game." — (to Franklin) — I 
wish you could say that to the English Minister, Lord 
North. 

Franklin— Someday I shall, sir, but it will be at the end of 
something more than a game of chess. 

Vergennes — Dr. Franklin, you are worth as much to your coun- 
tiy as another army would be! — Au revoir! 

Franklin— Au revoir, Comte! — (Exit Vergennes.) — Now, to work 
again! — (Temple rises.) — No, Temple, keep your seat. I 
shall sit here and dictate. — (sitting in a chair down right) 



26 MADK IN PARIS 



— Those letters I wrote to England, — have you the ad- 
dresses for them? 

Temple — To Horace Walpole, to Edmund Burke, M. P., to Dr. 
Joseph Priestly, Esq. — All ready for the post. 

Franklin — Wait before sealing the one to Edmund Burke. — 
{Franklin rises and searches among a pile of papers on 
a stand at the right.) — Burke is an Irishman, and will be 
interested in that plan of confederation for the American 
States which I sketched. I remember I included Ireland 
in my plan. Here it is. I drew it up in July, 1775. It 
contains a provision that Ireland may, upon application, 
be received in an American confederation. Enclose that 
in my letter to Burke. — Most Irishinen are as much in 
favor of our cause as the hottest patriots among us. 

Temple — That is because they feel we are fighting their battle 
for them, sir. 

Franklin — Now then, are you ready? — {dictating) — 
"To General George Washington, 
Sir: 

The gentleman who will have the honor of waiting 
upon you with tliis letter is the Baron von Steuben, lately 
a lieutenant general in the King of Prussia's service, 
whom he attended in all his campaigns, being his aide- 
de-ca.mp, quartermaster-general, etc. He goes to America 
with a true zeal for our cause, and a view of engaging 
in it and rendering all the service in his power. 

I have the honor to be, yours, etc." 
Give that to Baron von Steuben when he calls tomorrow. 
The Baron will be most useful as a drillmaster, and will 
be almost as valuable an acquisition to our forces as the 
Marciuis de Lafayette. — That finishes public business for 
the present. — Temple, I have some private business with 
you. 

Thornton — {looking up from his desk) — Shall I go, sir? 

Franklin — No, Major, it will do you no harm to hear. — Temple, 
I wish to give you a serious word of warning. 

Temple — {close to Franklin's chair) — Against spies? 

Franklin — Against Mademoiselle Somnambulie. — Major Thorn- 
ton told me you invited her to come here to-day. 

Temple — Do you accuse her of wishing to steal documents? 

Franklin — No! No! Get the spy business out of your head. I 



MADE IN PARIS 27 

will tend to whatever spies there are. — I accuse Mad- 
emoiselle of wishing to steal hearts, especially yours. 

Temple — {heatedly) — You have no right to impute such a mo- 
tive to a beautiful v/oman! 

Franklin — Dear! dear! She has stolen your heart already! 

Temple — Why do you say that, sir? 

Franklin — You defend her with the ardor of a lover. 

Temple — I am not in love with her. I never saw her before 
yesterday. We are friends, merely good friends. She 
says most interesting things, and — 

Franklin — You are almost ready to propose to her. 

Temple — Grandfather, why will you continue to make fun of 
me? — You never seem to want me to look at a girl. 

Franklin — I not only want you to look at a girl, but I hope you 
will look at many, and marry the best. A man without 
a wife is but half a man. I want you to marry someday, 
a steady, economical wom.an, as I did, one who can tend 
to business and keep accounts. 

Temple — Suppose I happen to fall in love with a woman who 
can not keep accounts? 

Franklin — Teach her hov,r. — Eut indeed, you should make up 
your mind beforehand as to the kind of woman you are 
going to let yourself fall in love with. If you decide on 
a kind that really exists, the right woman will appear. 

Tejnple — I:;n't love blind, sir? 

Franklin — It should not be. Keep your eyes wide open before 
marriage; half shut afterwards. — What is Mademoiselle 
Somnambulie's first name? 

Temple — You don't think I have already asked her that? 

Franklin — If you didn't yesterday, you will to-day. 

Temple— Should I ask her so soon as to-day what her first name 
is? 

Franklin— Ask her, my boy. If she tells you only her last name, 
she is a sensible woman. If she tells you her first name, 
she is a flirt. 



28 MADE IN PARIS 



Temple — What if she refuses to tell me either? 

Franklin — Then she may be either sensible or a flirt, and in 
that case, beware! 

Temple — In return for the advice you have given me, sir, may 
I venture an opinion on another matter? — It is in regard 
to Mr. Lee. Major Thornton, as Mr. Lee's Secretary, is 
bound to tell Mr. Lee of what I say. Well, I want Mr. 
Lee to know what I think. I think, sir, that since Mr. 
Lee cannot cooperate with his fellow commissioners, and 
has demanded the recall of Mr. Deane, and since he is 
useless here in Paris and is always stirring up trouble, 
I think, sir, that you should report him to Congress! 

Franklin — It will not render Mr. Lee more useful, for me to 
make accusations against him. But it is hard, that I, who 
give others no trouble with my quarrels, should be plagued 
with all the perversities of those who think fit to wrangle 
with one another. I have too many antagonisms to face 
as it is. I have causes enough for discouragement, with- 
out giving attention to Mr. Lee. According to our latest 
news, Washington was still retreating; Lord Howe was 
nearing Philadelphia; New York and New England wex'e 
on the point of being overrun by the army of Burgoyne. 
We have had serious losses at sea recently on this side 
of the Atlantic. Besides all these concerns, I am over- 
worked with correspondence, arranging private loans, and 
paying the drafts Congress continues to draw against 
me. And now, those who should be helping me, quarrel 
among themselves! — Give me those words by Tom Paine 
which Washington ordered read to his troops. — In the top 
drawer. — I always find comfort in them. — (Teviple hands 
hhn a paper and sits doivn. Franklin reads.) — "These 
are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier 
and the sunshine patriot will in this crisis shrink from the 
service of his country; but he that stands it now deserves 
the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like 
hell, is not easily conquei-ed, yet we have this consolation 
left with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious 
the triumph." — What weaklings we are to let ourselves 
become discouraged! 

Lee — {shouting off stage left) — Dr. Franklin! Dr. Franklin — 
{Enter Lee.) — News from America, Dr. Franklin! A 
messenger is reported very near Paris. I have galloped 
all the way from the Court! I am going back again to 
meet him! — {Exit Lee.) 



MADE IN PARIS 29 



Franklin — The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise. — 
(Reenter Lee left.) 

Lee — There is a woman just arrived to see you, Dr. Franklin. 

Franklin — You mean to see my grandson. 

Lee — No, to see you, sir. 

Franklin — {rising) — Bless me! I was not expecting a visitor. 
Who can it be? 

{Temple and Thornton signal to each other their enjoy- 
ment of the situation. Lee shows his disapproval as 
Beaumarchais, dressed as a woman, enters left. Temple 
rises.) 

Beaumarchais^ Ah, Dr Frankleen, I have found you at last! — 
{Beaumarchais courtesys. Lee, standing at the door left, 
is draivn against his will to rernain.) 

Franklin — (bowing) — I am charmed. 

Beaumarchais — Helas! Ees eet thus with a coldness that my 
old friend gi-eets me? Does he not remember me? 

Franklin — (adjusting his spectacles) — I beg your pardon, but 
you have me at a disadvantage. I cannot recall your 
name. Your face is somehow familiar. Can it be that 
age has begun to attack my memory? Believe me, I am 
distressed that I cannot remember you. 

Beaumarchais — (turning to Lee) — Mistaire Lee knows who I 
am. Ees eet not so, Mistaire Lee? 

Lee — I must confess that I do. 

Beaumarchais — Confestiown ees goot for the soul, Mistaire Lee. 
Therefore, eet ees my goot wishes for you, that you often 
confess. Mon Dieu, but how you look disgust with me! 
Mistaire Lee, eet ees customaire in France zat the gentle- 
man kees the hand of the ladies their friends. — Here ees 
my hand, my leely hand. — (Lee hesitates, swalloivs tvrath, 
snatches up Beatimarchais's hand, makes as though to 
kiss it, tliroivs it down and exits left.) 

Beaumarchais — A most ill-bred man, Dr. Frankleen. — Are all 
Americans like heem? 

Franklin — Madame, here is one who is a gentleman, my grand- 
son, William Temple Franklin. 

Beaumarchais — Ah! Mistaire Willaum Temple Frankleen, with 
you I will shake the hand, Anglaise fashion. 



30 MADE IN PARIS 

Temple — Fail- lady, my grandfather has taught me how to ad- 
dress a Frenchwoman. — What is your first name? 

Beaumarchais — Eet ees an impertinence! My first name ees not 
for you! 

Franklin — My grandson misunderstood. I hope you will pardon 
the ignorance of his youth, Mademoiselle. 

Beaumarchais — Certainement. — {getting out a handkerchief) — 
But, helas! Dr. Frankleen! I am not mademoiselle. I 
am what you call in Anglaise a widower. 

Franklin — Widow, Madame. 

Beaumarchais — Ah yes, widow. Widower ees a man who ees 
widowed, yes? 

Franklin — Exactly, Madame. 

Beaumarchais — (weeping into a handkerchief) — Helas! My poor 
husbonde! Ah, Dr. Frankleen, you do not know what eet 
ees to lose a husbonde! 

Franklin — Not yet, Madame. 

Beaumarchais — He was so goot a man, so honest, so kind, so 
gentle, — when he was sober! — But I must not weep any 
more. Eet ees bad for the complexiown. 

Temple — Madame, permit me to ask you a question. Can you 
keep accounts? 

Beaumarchais — Accounts? — What ees accounts? 

Franklin — Records of money matters. Every woman should 
keep them. Then she will be more useful. 

Beaumarchais — Mon Dieu! Why should I be useful? Ees eet 
not enough that I am beautiful? 

Franklin — For me, Madame, it is. 

Beaumarchais — How you are gallant. Dr. Frankleen! — And so, 
my beauty ees enough for you? — Eet ees too much for one 
of your friends, too much dazzlement. 

Franklin — How is that, Madame? 

Beaumarchais — Eet ees one of your friends who ees in love with 
me too muck. 

Franklin — Who is he, Madame? 



MADE IN PARIS 31 



Beaumarchais — He ees Monsieur de Beaumarchais. — He ees too 
much selfish interested in me. He thinks of nobody else, 
I am sorry to say. I do not like to tell you, hees friend, 
scandal about Monsieur de Beaumarchais, but — 

Franklin — I can believe anything about Monsieur de Beaumar- 
chais. 

Beaumarchais — What? — Then I tell you. — He has been so — what 
you call — crazee about me the past month that he has 
been to my house every time he knows I am at home. He 
goes everywhex'e I go, sometimes even in my carriage. I 
cannot keep myself rid of heem. Eet ees too much at- 
tentions. I wish that you spik to heem about eet. 

Franklin — I am not surprised at what you say, Madame. If 
Monsieur de Beaumarchais had as good an escapement 
balance in his brain as he has put into the watches he 
used to make, he would behave himself properly. 

Beaumax'chais — Ees that what you say of heem. Dr. Frankleen? 
— I will remember eet. — But eet ees that I came to ask 
you to help me in another mattaire also. 

Franklin — Anything in my power, Madame, I will do. 

Beaumarchais — There ees a reech man in the West Indies who 
wants a wife from Paris. I ask you to do me the great 
favaire to write to heem for me a letter of recommenda- 

tiown. 

Franklin — I would gladly do so, Madame, but I have been so 
ovei'worked lately, I beg you to excuse me. 

Beaumarchais — Eet ees a leetle thing for you; eet ees everything 
to me. 

Franklin — But, Madame — (Beaumarchais turns from Franklin, 
takes a powder jmff from a handbag, and powders his 
nose.) — Madame, I will do it. — (Beaumarchais, smiling, 
continues powdering.) — To whom shall I address it? 

Beaumarchais — (without turning) — Monsieur Alexandre Gra- 
mont. Island of Martinique. 

Franklin — (sitting dotvn and dictating to Temple) — 
"My dear Monsieur: 

I have been requested by a lady who moves in the best 
society in Paris to address the following recommendation 
to you. — (Beaumarchais smiles.) — The lady in question 
is one whom I met some few years ago," — That is right, 



32 MADE IN PARIS 



Madame, is it not? — (Beaumarchais nods affirmatively.) — 
"some few years ago, when she looked much younger." 

Beaumarchais — (starting) — Need you say that, Dr. Franklin? 

Franklin — What am I thinking of! — Erase "when she looked 
much younger." I will express it differently. — "whom I 
met many years ago. She is a widow who reveres the 
memory of her sainted husband.— (Beaumarchais smiles.) 
— Her character is to be judged by the fact that the fam- 
ous author of the popular Barber of Seville, Monsieur de 
Beaumarchais, has been smitten by her charms, and at- 
tempts to force his attentions upon her. She is too modest 
to tolerate a man like him. I have no doubt he deserves 
her disapproval. I have been so deeply impressed by her 
that I can describe her in terms no less than to say that 
she is — an aged, awkward, scandal-mongering female, and 
worse yet, one who looks for all the world like Monsieur 
de Beaumarchais!" 

Beaumarchais — (with chagrin) — Have you known all the time 
who I was? 

Franklin — You are a clever man, Monsieur de Beaumarchais. 

Beaumarchais — (taking off his tvoman's tvig) — Not clever 
enough this time. I have lost a bet. The joke is on me. 
— Let me go to my carriage. I have a suit of male attire 
in it. 

Temple — I will get it for you, Monsieur. — (Exit Temple left) 

Beaumarchais — You have observing eyes, Dr. Franklin. 

Franklin — (moving hack stage, and staring hard at Major 
Thornton, ivho has risen and is going to left) — I see more 
than some give me ci*edit for. — Stay, Major. — I believe I 
hear the arrival of the messenger from America in the 
couryard. If I mistake not, he bears news you will be 
interested to hear. 
(Enter Temple.) 

Temple — The messenger has arrived! 

Lee — (off left) — This way, Mr. Austin. — (Enter Lee and Austin 
'left.) 

Franklin — Sir, is Philadelphia taken? 

Austin — Yes, sir. — (Franklin claps his hands in dismay and 
turns axvay.) — But, sir, I have greater news than that! 
General Burgoyne and his whole army are prisoners of 



MADE IN PARIS 33 



war! — (For a moment, all pause, as the importance of the 
news dawns upon them. Then Beaumarchais jumps tO' 
ivards the door, shouting:) 

Beaumarchais — I must tell Comte de Vergennes at once! — (Exit 
Beaumarchais. Thornton seizes paper and quill and hast- 
ily begins to write.) 

Franklin — (to Temple) — Put that news in each of those letters 
to England. — (to Aastiii) — Sir, I have not the pleasure of 
your acquaintance. 

Austin — I am John Loring Austin, of Boston. 

Franklin — (shaking hands) — I am glad to meet you, Mr. Austin, 
and the more so since you are the bearer of such great 
news! An entire army, prisoners! — Consider what it 
means, sir! The British will begin to think of making 
peace, and the French of making war! — Where is Wash- 
ington? 

Austin — At Valley Forge, sir. 

Franklin — Have you any dispatches? 

Austin — (talcing two folded documents from his pocket) — These, 
sir. 

Franklin — (opening one, glu7icing at it, and handing it to Lee) 
— You are the only one, Mr. Lee, to whom this will give 
satisfaction. — (Franklin crosses to right.) 

Lee — At last! Mr. Deane is recalled, and Mr. John Adams is 
appointed to take his place! John Adams is more to my 
liking! — (Exit Lee right.) 

Franklin — (who has been reading the second docmnent) — This 
is a most important communication! — (folding it up) — I 
am glad that you escaped seizure by the British with this 
in your possession. — (Thornton listens.) — Who brought 
you across the Atlantic? 

Austin — Captain John Paul Jones. 

Franklin — The very man I need! — I want to commission him as 
a privateer against British shipping. He must see me 
here in Paris. I have plans for an attack on certain 
British ports. — And, will you go as my personal envoy to 
England? — It will be dangerous. You will risk being 
hung as a spy. 



34 MADE IN PARIS 

Austin— I care not for the danger, sir. 

Franklin — Good! — You can carry communications from me to 
the Prince of Wales. He sympathizes with us. You will 
meet the Whig leaders in Parliament and find many 
friends. But burn all the papers you brought from 
America, as a precaution. — There, my grandson is ready, 
and he will direct you. 

Austin — I will do my best, sir! 

Franklin — Goodbye, Mr. Austin, and God bless you! — {They 
shake hands. Exit left Austin and Temple. Franklin is 
at the left, still holding in hand the document he received 
from Austin.) — Major Thornton, here is this dispatch 
from America. I \vish it to be put away safe from spies. 
— (Thornton rises eagerly.) — Please lock it up for me in 
my desk. — (He hands it to Thornton.) 

Thornton — (center) — I have no key, sir. 

Franklin — My grandson and Mr. Lee have keys. 

Thornton — Shall I run after Mr. Temple, sir? — (crossing left) 

Franklin — (stepping hack and blocking Thornton^s ivay) — 
Won't it be easier to call Mr. Lee? 

Thornton — Why, of course, sir. 

Franklin — Why, of course. — (Thornton crosses to right.) — But 
wait, Major. 

Thornton — Yes, sir? 

Franklin — I do not believe it Avill be necessary to call Mr. Lee, 
to get the key. 

Thornton — But, — but if he has the key, sir? 

Franklin — My eyes are not very good, even with these specta- 
cles, at such a distance across the room. But I am some- 
times surprised at how much I do observe. — Don't I see a 
key lying beside that chair? 

Thornton — So you do, sir! — (picking it up) — Why, it is the very 
key we want, sir! 

Franklin — Please put the dispatch in the bottom drawer. — 
(Franklin turns his back as Thoimton unlocks the drawer. 
Instead of placing the dispatch in the drawer, Thornton 
slips it in his pocket.) — Major! — (Thornton starts.) — You 
will be interested in reading that dispatch at your leisure. 
Just at present, I should like to tell you of a way I have 



MADE IN PARIS 35 



with spies. Come here. — (Thornton approaches him.) — 
Let me have it. — {Thornton looks Franklin in the eye for 
a moment; then his eyes waver and fall, and he slowly 
reaches into his pocket, draws out the dispatch, and hands 
it to Franklin. Franklin crosses to his desk.) — My way 
of foiling spies, Major Thornton, is to lock up unimportant 
documents, for evei*y lock is an invitation to a spy. Those 
documents which I do not care to have spies read, I leave 
out on the top of this desk, so, — {placing the dispatch on 
the desk) — where no one would expect to find a manu- 
script of value. — But as a matter of fact, I have nothing 
to conceal from the enemies of my country. The more 
they know, the sooner they v/ill yield. Here, read this, 
if you like. — {Franklin picks up the dispatch and ad- 
vances to Thornton, holding it towards him. Thornton, 
head hanging, remains silent.) — If you won't take this, — 
{gesturing tvith the dispatch in his left hand) — won't 
you take this? — {holding out his right hand) 

Thornton — Would you shake hands with me, sir? — Forgive me, 
sir! — {They shake hands.) — I cannot be your enemy, six- — 
I have been loyal to King George the Third, but it was 
with hope of being knighted. If I had King Geoi-ge's 
promise to make me a Lord, sir, I would not fight any 
longer against you! 

Franklin — Major, there need be no patent of nobility from a 
king to make a man a true nobleman. 

Thornton — {going to his desk and taking up certain papers) — 
I will destroy this report which I was preparing for Lord 
Stormont, on the nev/s from America. 

Franklin — {crossing right) — No, send it. I want Lord North 
to have it as soon as possible. 

{Enter left Somnamhulie and Temple. Temple remains 
near the entrance.) 

Somnambulie — Bon jour, Dr. Franklin! 

Franklin — Ah, Mademoiselle, bon jour! 

Somnambulie — Your grandson tells me how busy you are, sir. 
I shall not disturb you. I know what work it is to keep 
accounts. — {smiling at Temple) 

Franklin — Ah, so! Then, with your kind permission, Major 
Thornton and I will retire to another room. — {Exit Major 
Thornton right.) — A thousand pardons for leaving you 
so abruptly. — {kissing her hand and speaking in con- 
fidential tones) — Mademoiselle, I entreat your mercy to- 



36 MADE IN PARIS 



wards my gi'andson. He is young, and inexperienced in 
the free ways of fine ladies of the French Court like 
Mademoiselle. Remember that I trust him with you. 
Mademoiselle. — (Franklin agains kisses her hand, and 
exits right,) 

Somnambulie — (looking after him) — Does your grandfather al- 
ways have his own way with every one? 

Temple — With most people, but not with me. 

Somnambulie — You naughty boy! — He is a better man than 
you realize, and you should obey him. 

Temple — Sometimes he asks impossible things. 

Somnambulie — As for example? 

Temple — Oh! I can't tell you! 

Somnambulie — What did he tell you to do in regard to me? — 
Come, tell me! — You won't? — Then, goodbye! — (She starts 
towards the door left.) 

Temple — (intercepting her at center) — You're not going to 
leave? 

Somnambulie — At once, unless you tell me what your grand- 
father said about me. 

Temple — He told me to ask you a question. 

Somnambulie — Well, ask it. 

Temple — I can't. 

Somnambulie — Don't you want to know the answer? 

Temple — I am not sure. 

Somnambulie — (her curiosity thoroughly aroused) — You must 
tell me! — Now, — (sitting down) — I shall stay until you 
tell me. — Or ask your grandfather myself. 

Temple — No, don't! I will ask the question. — What — What is 
your real first name? 

Somnambulie — Is that all — (to herself) — Why that question? 

Temple — Are you going to answer? 

Somnambulie— Should I? — (pause) — No, you must never ask 
me who I am, nor try to find out. 



MADE IN PARIS 37 



Temple — Does grandfather know who you are? 

Somnambulie — He knows that I am a dangerous woman. 

Temple — Oh! But you are not! — I will not believe it! 

Somnambulie — I may be worse than dangerous. 

Temple — You are too kind and good to be anything but an 
angel! You have the disposition of an angel and the 
character of a saint! 

Somnambulie — Mr. Temple, you must not say such things! 

Temple — They are true! You are the best woman in Paris! 
You are the noblest woman in France! You are the 
most perfect woman in the world! You are as lovely as 
Venus! You are as beautiful as — as Helen of Troy! 

Somnambulie — Stop, Mr. Temple, stop! — (She rises.) 

Temple — I don't care! I shan't stop! — You are the only woman 
in the world for me, and I want you to be my wife! Yes, 
I do! — {Somnambulie falls back into a chair, laughing 
heartily, yet trying to conceal her laughter.) — You are 
laughing! — Everybody tries to make fun of me! First 
it's gi-andfather, and now it's you! — You don't think I 
mean what I said? — I do mean it! — (very solemn) — 
Somnambulie, I love you! — I will die unless you give me 
your hand! I will kill myself unless I have your love! — 
(He falls upon his knees beside her chair and seizes her 
liands.) 

Somnambulie — My dear boy, — 

Temple — It is so sweet to hear you call me that! 

Somnambulie — It seems to me that I once heard it said that 
you are eighteen years of age. 

Temple — I am. 

Somnambulie — Well, my dear boy, do you realize that I am 
nearly twice your age? 

Temple — Impossible! — You don't look it! 

Somnambulie — But I am. 

Temple — Even if you are, I love you just the same! 

(Enter Beaumarchais and Vergennes. Beaumarchais is 
now dressed as in Act I. He carries his left arm in a 
sling.) 



gg MADE IN PARIS 



Beaumarchais— Ah!— What a pretty tableau! 

Temple— (Wsms' hastily to his feet and crossing to right) — 
There's another one making fun of me! 

Somnambulie— (rismr;) — Mr. Temple and I were practising a 
scene we are going to give at a charity ball. 

Beaumarchais — Oh! I see! — A tableau representing the love of 
France and America? 

Somnambulie— Yes, exactly.— Mr. Temple, as young America, 
asking me, as old France, to give him my hand in help. — 
Monsieur Beaumai-chais, we intend to be more skillful 
in our parts than you were in yours as a woman. "Where 
is my finger watch? 

Beaumarchais — You shall have it tomorrow. — You see why I lost 
my bet. Mademoiselle. I did not have your fan to make 
me perfect in my disguise. 

Somnambulie — What has happened to your arm. Monsieur? 

Vergennes — He drove so fast to bring me news from America 
that his carriage overturned and he broke his arm. 

Somnambulie — Oh! Monsieur! 

Beaumarchais — No matter. It was good news, worth a broken 
arm. 

Temple — I shall tell grandfather you are here, gentlemen. 

Vergennes — If you please. — (Exit Temple right.) — I am sure 
we are wise to take action at once. We must forestall 
any British advances to make peace with America. 

(Enter Lee right.) 

Lee — Good afternoon, gentlemen. Sirs, be seated. 

Vergennes — Thank you, sir. — (Vergeiines turns to Beaumar- 
chais, giving his back to Lee. Vergennes and Beaumar- 
chais remain standing.) — Of course, you will close the 
house of Hortalez and Company at once. 

(Enter right Franklin and Temple.) 

FrankMn — Ah, Comte, welcome again to Passy! — Monsieur 
Beaumarchais, you don't look nov/ as though you wanted 
to marry a man in the West Indies. — What is the matter 
with your arm? 

Beaumarchais — My carriage upset. Nothing serious. — I am 
more concerned with the unfortunate fact that General 
Howe has captured Philadelphia. 



MADE IN PARIS 39 



Franklin — No! Philadelphia has captured General Howe. The 
luxuries of the city will unfit his soldiers for the next 
campaign, and Philadelphia society will make his officers 
loath to take the field again. The loss of Philadelphia 
does not count in comparison with the surrender of Bur- 
goyne. 

Vei-gennes — Dr. Franklin, I bring word from the Court of 
France, that his Majesty, King Louis XVI, is fixed in his 
determination not only to acknowledge, but to support 
the independence of the United States by every means in 
his power! 

Franklin — In the name of the United States, I thank his Maj- 
esty! 

Vergennes — I will take steps immediately to join you in your 
war against England. 

(Temple, overcome with emotion, rushes across to Som- 
nambulie, seizes her, and kisses her.) 

Beaumarchais — Here! Here! That is going further than a ta- 
bleau ! 

Temple — As young America, I thank old France! 

Sonmambulie — Mr. Temple, to use the quaint English expres- 
sion, you are a chip of the old block! 

Vergennes — I shall ask the United States to make a treaty with 
me to the effect that "neither of the two parties, the 
United States nor France, shall conclude either truce or 
peace with Great Britain without the formal consent of 
the other first obtained." 

Franklin — I can answer for Congress that the treaty will be 
agreeable. 

Lee — If you desire a treaty with the United States, there is one 
stipulation I shall make, to which you must agree. You 
must remove the export duty on molasses from the West 
Indies. 

Vergennes — (to Franklin) — Why is Mr. Lee so much interested 
in molasses? 

Franklin — The explanation is this. — You French drink wine; 
Germans, beer; Russians, vodka; English, tea; we Amer- 
icans, Jamaica rum. 

Lee — Out of the molasses from the West Indies, we make rum. 
In exchange for that molasses, we find a market for our 



40 MADE IN PARIS 



products. The trade of the United States with the West 
Indies is necessary for the maintenance of our home 
industries. In fact, it may be said that every American 
who drinks a glass of rum, advances the national pros- 
perity. 

Franklin — I trust that posterity v/ill appreciate the zeal vnth 
which we are thus promoting the general welfare. 

Vergennes — You shall have the molasses without the charge of 
an export duty. 

Franklin — Then the terms of treaty between the United States 
and France are settled. — Sir, we welcome France as she 
enters the conflict. — I have observed, gentlemen, that all 
Europe is on our side of the question as far as applause 
and good wishes can carry them. Those who live und3r 
arbitrary power do nevertheless approve of liberty and 
wish for it; they almost despair of recovering it in 
Europe; they look with hope to us. Hence it is that the 
cause of America is the cause of all mankind, and that 
we are fighting for their liberty in defending our ov/n. 
It is a glorious task assigTied to us by Providence, which 
has, I trust, given us spirit and virtue equal to it, and 
will at last crown it with success! 



(Curtain) 



MADE IN PARIS 41 



ACT III. 

Same as Act Tivo November SO, 1782 

{A table is m the center of the roojn. Papers, books, and 
letters are jnled high on the desks and floor. Benjamin 
Franklin is seated at the right of the table and Tem,ple 
at the bad:. Temple is wearing a heavy moustache. John 
Jay is standing, smoking a long clay pipe.) 

Jay — I told you, sir, we might just as well never have won the 
victory at Yorktown, so far as our hopes for a diplomatic 
success are concerned. How can the United States, im- 
poverished by the war, gain general recognition of their 
independence in the face of such opposition? — {crossing 
right) — The English Government is not disposed even 
yet to recognize our independence; Spain never has done 
so; she will not until England doQS.~{crossing and re- 
crossing) — The French Government appears to be on the 
point of forgetting our treaty of 1778, by which we agreed 
that neither nation would make a separate peace with 
England. — {crossing left) — France shows an inclination 
to join with England in profiting at our expense. Nations 
seem generous to their friends when they are engaged in 
war, but when peace-making time comes, and all are 
scrambling to get what they can for themselves, they for- 
get their friends. — {crossing right) 

Franklin — Mr. Jay, I believe there never was a good war nor 
a bad peace. 

Jay — True, sir. — {crossing left) — I am going now to see the 
Spanish Am.bassador in regard to our w^estern boundaries 
and the use of the Mississippi. — Where is that memo- 
randum? — I must have left it here. — {looking among the 
papers on the table) 

Temple — It has disappeared. 

Jay — I shall have to v/rite another. 

Temple — Never mind, sir; you will find it as soon as the French 
have done with it. Every paper we have is stolen by 
their spies, but they are always very considerate about 
returning things. 

Jay — I shall go to the Spanish Embassy without my memo- 
randum. I have a map of the Mississippi. 

Franklin — Let us work for peace, Mr. Jay, never despairing. 
Little strokes fell gTeat oaks. 



42 MADE IN PARIS 



Jay — That proverb is from Poor Richard's Almanac, is it not? 
— The tiling I enjoyed best in your Almanac, Dr. Frank- 
lin, is that "epitaph on a scolding wife by her husband. 
Here my poor Bridget's corpse doth lie; she is at rest, — 
and so am I." — {Amid general laughter, Jay exits left.) 

Franklin — I am glad the dear fellow Jay has come to relieve 
me of part of my work. Ever since Silas Deane and that 
quarrelsome Mr. Lee were recalled, I have had no one 
but you. 

Temple — And now Congress has refused for the second time to 
grant me a salary! 

Franklin — You will have to be satisfied, my boy, with what I 
pay you myself. 

Temple — But it's a shame, sir! I have done all the secretarial 
work when you have suffered from the gout, or have been 
ill. Congress is ungrateful! 

Frankin — No, my boy, Congress has had its hands full of more 
urgent business. 
(Enter left Vergennes and Beaumarchais.) 

Vergennes — Bon jour, Dr. Franklin! 

Franklin — (rising) — Ah, Comte Vergennes, welcome to Passy! — 
You have written another play. Monsieur Beaumarchais. 
Do I understand correctly that the King refuses to let 
it be performed? 

Beaumarchais — He read it and called it "detestable and unact- 
able." — Nevertheless, it shall be acted before long. 

Franklin — Dai-e you oppose the King? 

Beaumarchais — Oh no! I shall merely persuade the King not 
to oppose me. 

Franklin — How will you do that? 

Beaumarchais — I am giving private readings before the nobil- 
ity. People are asking each other, "Have you heard the 
new play?" — Soon there will be a demand through all 
Paris, a demand which the King cannot resist, that he 
permit a performance of The Marriage of Figaro. 

Vergennes — The Marriage of Figaro satirizes the Court and all 
Society. Monsieur Beaumarchais has his laugh at all of 
us. 



MADE IN PARIS 43 



Beaumarchais — I hasten to laugh at everything, lest I should 
have to weep at everything. 

Vergennes — I came to you to-day, Dr. Franklin, to complain 
of your colleague, Mr. John Adams. He is worse than 
Mr. Lee! I was forced to be no more than civil to Mr. 
Lee; but Mr. Adams, I am forced to flatter. And Mr. 
Adams does not seem to realize the custom of ambassadors 
at court. 

Franklin — Do not be too harsh with him, Comte. He is a 
strenuous worker; sometimes he is too busy to think of 
the forms of etiquette; but he means well. 

Beaumarchais — (at left) — Perhaps we expect the impossible of 
Mr. Adams. Every one can not bo like Benjamin Frank- 
lin, who, in the words of the poet: 

"snatched tlie thunderbolt from heaven, 
and the sceptre from the hands of tyrants." 

Franklin — As for the thunder, I left it where I found it; and 
a million of my countrymen cooperated with me in snatch- 
ing the sceptre. Also, Monsieur Beaumarchais helped, 
and Comte Vergennes, who gave us money. During these 
five years, you have aided me in securing loans that total 
52,000,000 livres. 

Beaumarchais — (crossing to Temple) — The only additional thing 
the Franklins need to secure in France, is a wife for Mr. 
Temple. 

Temple — (twirling his moustache) — Are you trying to arrange 
a loan of one, sir? 

Beaumarchais — With a security as handsome as you, she would 
be safe. 

Temple — I don't care to borrow a wife. — I would rather do as 
the poet says grandfather did with the thunder, and 
snatch one. 

Beaumarchais — You tried that once. 

Temple — What do you mean? 

Beaumarchais — Don't you remem.ber? 

Temple — Oh! You mean that tableau with — with — with — what 
was her name? 

Beaumarchais — You were on your knees before her, vowing to 
kill yourself if she refused you! — And now you have for- 



44 



gotten her name! — (crossing left) — Such is youth! 



Temple — I have grown up since then. I was a mere baby, — 
only eighteen. — But I remember! — She called herself 
Somnambulie. 

Beaumarchais — {returning to Temple) — She often remarks on 
how cleverly you acted that tableau! 

Temple— That was easy! 

Beaumarchais — Naturally, you would say so now. I understand 
you have improved by practice. 

Temple — Occasionally I play a part in what you call a tableau. 
But I never attempt to impersonate an old v/oman. I leave 
that for you, Monsieur. 

Vergennes — (to Beaumarchais) — Mr. Temple's tongTie shows 
that you have been a good tutor, Monsieur. 

Beaumarchais — I will not claim credit that belongs to his part- 
ners in tableaux. 

Vergennes — Come, Monsieur, — Au re voir, Dr. Franklin! 

Franklin — Au revoir, Comte! — I will do what I can v/ith Mr. 
Adams. 

(Exit Vergennes.) 

Temple — Where is Somnambulie now? 

Beaumarchais — (at exit) — She is married, — just at present. 
( Exit Beaumarchais. ) 

Temple — I cannot imagine two people more unlike than Beau- 
marchais and Mr. Adams. One is so much a man of the 
world; the other, so m^uch a Puritan. 

Franklin — Mr. Adams is always an honest man, often a wise 
man, but sometimes and in some things, absolutely out 
of his senses. 

Temple — I hear his voice. Had I not better leave? 

Franklin — (sitting) — Very likely. — (Exit Temple right.) 

Adams — (off left) — It is not right! I will not do it! I will not 
buy a carriage at any such price! — Good day, sir! — (He 
enters.) — I intend to see that expenses are kept within 
reasonable bounds. There has been too much luxury and 
extravagance among American Commissioners. I am ap- 
palled at the prodigious sums of money you — (pointing at 



MAPK IN PATJIS 45 

Fra'riklin) — have expended! — I find on looking over your 
accounts for last year that you spent the total of four 
hundred and fifty dollars! 

Franklin — {quieihj) — Good afternoon, Mr. Adams. 

Adams — (siirl/i at having his rudeness thus called to his atten- 
tion) — Good afternoon, Dr. Franklin. — I never sav/ records 
kept in such confusion! Here are letters, bills, books, 
miscellaneous documents, with no arrangement, no s^o- 
tem! — (He begins vigorously to sort and tie up papvry, 
into bundles.) — I am shocked at this lack of order. It 
is fortunate Congress has sent a man of business here 
at last. I know the need of order and system, for I built 
up the largest law practice in Boston. — But I must not 
boast. I thank God I have succeeded in making humility 
one of my virtues! I am not in Paris to receive the praise 
and flattery of Frenchmen. I am here to get things done 
and make a treaty of peace, and not go around gibbering 
French. These frog-eaters are a frivolous folk. Of 
course, I would not be just if I condemned them all. Some 
of them are fine gentlemen. I was guest of honor at a 
dinner given by Comte Vergennes. The compliments I 
thei-e received show that I am appreciated in some quart- 
ers, at least. I made a note in my diary of the things 
that were said of me. — {reading from diary) — "You have 
made a treaty with Holland; you have negotiated a loan 
with the Dutch. You afford us the spectacle of a perfect 
success." — (sorting papers again and finding one from 
which he reads) — "Montgolfier's balloon experiments" — 
(laughing) — This must be a private paper of yours. — 
(handing it to Franklin) — Of what use are balloon ex- 
periments ? 

Franklin — Of what use is a new-born babe? 

Adams — What I criticize is the wasting of your time on balloons, 
when you might have arranged these public records. — 
And nov/, while I am doing this work, you sit there quietly 
with your hands folded as though nothing disturbed you! 
— Dr. Franklin, you are too much in love with your ease! 
And too fond of visiting with talkative Frenchmen, so 
that your mind is kept in a constant state of dissipa- 
tion! 

Franklin — (rising) — Sir, when you are cool and in good humor, 
I will justify myself to you. — (Exit Franklin right. 
Adards stares after him for a moment, and then thought- 
fi'Ily takes out his diary and writes in it. He then reads 
ah'i'd what he has luritten.) — "I must hereafter take 



46 MADE IN PARIS 

special pains to control my temper. The tongue is an 
unruly member." — (He turns again to sorting papers.) 
(Enter Jag left, smoking his pipe.) 

Jay — (crossing to right) — Mr. Adams, I am glad to find you 
here. 

Adams — You look worried, Mr. Jay. 

Jay — I have cause to be. The Spanish Ambassador has jr.st 
intimated that Spain's intention is to deny us the use 
of the Mississippi, and to limit our boundaries to the east 
of the Alleghanies. At the French Foreign Office, I was 
bluntly told that the United States can have no preten- 
sions to the territory we claim. I am suspicious of the 
French. 

Adams — We ought to forestall the Franch plans and treat at 
once and separately with the English Commissioners, now 
in Paris. 

Jay — It will be necessary to convince Dr. Franklin. 

Adams — I foresee difficulty there, sir. Dr. Franklin's long res- 
idence in Paris has prejudiced him in favor of the French. 

Jay — Dr. Franklin is our strong arm. His personality and 
trusted character will accomplish more than your force 
and mine. 

Adams — God forbid that I should boast, but did I not secure a 
treaty with Holland? I am capable of making a treaty 
with England without Dr. Franklin's assistance. 

Jay — No, sir, we must have Franklin with us. — (calling at door 
right) — Dr. Franklin! — 

(Jay and Adams cross to the left. Frankin enters and 
remains at the right.) \ 

Franklin — Ah, Mr. Jay, you have returned. I too have been 
busy — 

Adams — (snorting) — Busy ! 

Frankfin — Very busy, thinking, — how to get the treaty we want. 

Adams — That is the question Mr. Jay and I have solved. 



MAHK IN VAMS 47 

Jay — Dr. Franklin, my visits to the Spanish Ambassador and 
to the French Foreign Office, convince me that neither 
France nor Spain is to be counted on in this emergency. 
Neither will support our boundaries claim, and unless we 
secure the right to the Mississippi, the United States 
will have a sorry future indeed. — The French, in partic- 
ular, arouse my distrust. Their spies are too active. As 
your grandson foretold, my memorandum has reappeared. 
It was thrust into my pocket while I was in the French 
Foreign Olfice. 

Franklin — Gentlemen, only as France, Spain, and the United 
States stand together against England, will England yield 
to our demands. 

Adams — We are determined to treat separately with the Eng- 
lish. 

Franklin — But sirs, we are bound by gratitude not to do that! 

Adams — I, personally, owe no gratitude to France! 

Franklin — As an American and a gentleman, you do! — Besides, 
there is the order of Congress. 

Jay — As to the order of Congress that we should keep the 
French informed of every step we take, I do not feel 
bound by that. 

Franldin — Would you break your instructions? ' 

Jay — ^Yes, as I break this pipe! — {Jay breaks his pipe and drops 
the pieces.) 

Franklin — Four years ago we agreed not to conclude either 
truce or peace with Great Britain without the formal 
consent of France. This treaty with France we can not 
break. 

Adams — Patriotism demands it! 

Franklin — Your form of patriotism may; mine does not. — Mr. 
Adams, I am a patriot, as you know; yet to benefit man- 
Idnd means more to me than to benefit a single nation. 
My country is the world. To violate a treaty is an in- 
jury to all the world, for it destroys man's faith in man- 
kind. 

Adams — (with his back towards Franklin) — When there is a 
great good to be gained, as in this case, the future se- 
curity of the United States, all other considerations must 
be thrust aside. 



48 MADE IN VARIS 



Franklin— Shall considerations of honor weigh as nothing in the 
scale? — (pause)— Gentlemen, you do not answer me. — 
{patise) — Gentlemen, it is our firm connection with France 
that gives us weight against England and respect 
throughout Europe. If we were to break our faith with 
France, on whatever pretence, England would again 
trample on us, and every other nation despise us. The 
treaty with France must be fulfilled, for we are a new 
republic just come into the world, and if we were to 
forfeit our character at the outset, we would never be 
trusted again. 

Jay — Dr. Franklin, you are right. We must be honest, and 
grateful to our Allies, — but we m.ust think for ourselves. 

Franklin — I have raised no objection to our doing that, sir. 

Jay — I believe I see a way in v/hich we may m.ake term.s with 
the English at once, without violating our treaty with 
France. Let us treat separately with the English, but 
only so far as to agree upon the term.s later to be adopted 
at the same time the French make a treaty with the 
English. 

Adams — It is a clever plan! 

Franklin — It is a lawyer's plan. — True, it does not violate our 
French treaty. — Still, I do not like to do it. I feel that 
secret treating with the English shows an insulting dis- 
trust of France, like throwing over a friend when he 
has been sufficiently used. 

Adams — Mr. Jay and I will do it anyway, sir, no matter how 
you feel. 

Franklin — In that case, gentlemen, I shall have to act with you. 

Jay — I have already sent for the English Commissioners, who 
by now should have arrived. 

Franklin — {calling) — Temple ! — {Enter Temq^le right.) — Please 
show in Mr. Oswald and his colleagues. — {Exit Temple 
left.) 

Adams — These Englishmen v/ill waste their time if they try to 
make me compromise ! I will show them how an American 
can talk! 

{Enter left, Osivald, Lord Stormont, Strachey, and Tem- 
ple. Adams and Jay are at the extreme left. Franklin 
is at the right.) 

Oswald — Dr. Franklin, we meet, I trust, upon an auspicious oc- 
casion. 



MADE IN PARIS 49 

Franklin — Mr. Oswald, it is my fervent prayer that we do, sir. 

Oswald — (introducing) — Dr. Franklin, my colleag:ues: Lord 
Stormont, and Mr. Strachey. — (Stormont and Strachey 
cross front to right.) 

Franklin — (introducing) — Lord Stormont and Mr. Strachey; 
Mr. Adams of Massachusetts, and Mr. Jay, of New York. 
— Be seated, gentlemen. — (Temple sets a chair for Lord 
Stormont. The English are seated at the right; the Amer- 
icans, at the left of the table.) 

Oswald — (risiyig) — Gentlemen, my colleagues and I hold com- 
missions from the Prime Minister of England, to treat 
with the Commissioners of the Colonies. 

Adams — (leaping to his feet) — We are no longer colonies! 

Franklin — (rising slowly) — Mr. Oswald, may I interrupt? 

Oswald — What is your objection. Dr. Franklin? — (Adams sits 
dotvn reluctantly.) 

Franklin — We can treat with you, Mr. Oswald, only as you 
recognize us as Commissioners of the United States. 
Treat with us on the basis of independence, or not at all. 

Oswald — Dr. Franklin, I hope you will not insist on that, sir. 
I trust that your country will be content with the same 
relation to England that Ireland has. 
(Adams and Jay leap to their feet, shouting.) — No! No! 
Never! 

Oswald — Surely some form of reunion will be possible? 

Franklin — (quietly) — My statement was an ultimatum, sir. 

(Strachey whispers to Osxvald. Adams and Jay seat 
themselves.) 

Oswald — We will give an answer to your ultimatum, presently, 
sir. — May we know your further terms? 
(Adams leaps to his feet. Franklin sits down.) 

Adams — I demand that England shall give American seamen 
the right of fishing on the Banks of Newfoundland and in 
the Gulf of St. Lawrence! 

Oswald — Gentlemen, have you any other terms to present? 

Jay — (rising) — Gentlemen, I have here a map with the bound- 
aries claimed by the United States marked in red; also, 



50 MADE IN PARIS 

a memorandum relating to our use of the Mississippi. — 
(He lays them on the table before Oswald, and reseats 
himself.) 

Franklin — (rising) — Mr. Oswald, I might add to what we have 
said that in accordance with the treaty between the 
United States and France, v*^e cannot sign a permanent 
treaty of peace with you until France does so also. But 
we can, and hope to-day to sign an agreement with you 
as to the terms to be included in that peace when France 
is ready. — He sits.) 

Oswald — We understand. — Gentlemen, in regard to your terms: 
fisheries, boundaries, and independence; to grant all you 
ask would require that I exceed my instructions. A new- 
Parliament, unfavorable to making peace with America, 
is soon to meet. Unless we can agree as to terms to-day, 
it will be too late tomorrow. — (He sits.) 

Strachey — All we need do is delay. 

Stormont — By Jove! That's an idea! 

Strachey — Let us postpone our reply to the American terms. 

Oswald — We have no good excuse for doing that. 

Stormont — By George, sir, you seem to want to make peace with 
the damn Yankees! 

Oswald — Of course I do, my Lord, don't you? 

Stormont — No, by George! Not with that fellow Dr. Franklin. 
He's too clever by half! — He used my name, Stormont, 
you know, to signify an untruth. — By Jove, sir, people all 
over Paris began to call me Lord of Lies! 

Strachey — I have an excuse for delay. — (The Englishmen con- 
sult privately.) 

Jay — (to Adams and Franklin) — We must avoid delay. The 
meeting of the new Parliament will destroy all present 
hope of peace. 

Adams — We must compel them to accpt our terms to-day. 

Oswald — (rising) — Gentlemen, we have decided to send a courier 
to London for further instructions. — (He sits.) 

Adams — We must prevent their doing that! 

Jay — But how? — Can't you suggest a way, Mr. Adams? 



MADE IN PARIS 51 

Adams — No, sir — Can't you? — {Jay shakes his head.) — Then all 
my efforts to arrange the terms of peace must come to 
nothing! 

Franklin — Perhaps I can save the situation, Mr. Adams. 
Adams — Impossible, sir! If they are determined to send a cour- 
ier, they will send one. 

Franklin — (rising) — Gentlemen, if a courier goes to London, I 
suggest that he also carry from us a demand for com- 
pensation for damages done by British troops in America. 
The merchants of Boston and Philadelphia suffered heav- 
ily from the troops occupying those cities. Then, — {tak- 
ing up a paper) — in addition, here is a total of the loss 
to the United States of ships seized, of towns and farms 
burnt. If a messenger goes to London, we will add to 
our terms compensation for all these losses. — {He hands 
the paper to Oswald.) 

Stormont — Now I say, we don't want to pay all those damages, 
you know! 

Strachey — This puts a new complexion on the matter. 

Stormont — Gad, this demand is an outrage! Really, you know, 
I think I am beginning to feel angi-y! I don't want to 
threaten, you know, but I have half a mind to protest 
against this! I don't want to be nasty, you know, but 
there is such a thing as going too far! 

Oswald — {rising) — Dr. Franklin, if we do not send a courier to 
London, — ? 

Franklin — We will not demand compensation. 

Oswald — We should like to retire to another room to confer 
in private. — Dr. Franklin, I wish you might modify your 
ultimatum. 

Franklin — Sir, the ultimatum stands. 

{All rise. The Englishmen move toivards the right.) 

Temple — {opening the door at the right) — In here, gentlemen, 
is the room for your consultation. 

Stormont — By George, you know, that demand for compensation 
is really no kind of idea at all! 

{Exit Osivald, Strachey, and Stormont.) 

Adams — They will refuse to yield! 



52 MADE IN PARIS 

Jay — We asked too much! Congress did not insist on anything 
save recognition of independence. In demanding too 
much, we shall lose all. 

Adams — They cannot accuse us of lack of firmness. 

Jay — They have the advantage over us, and they know it. All 
they need do is delay, and our negotiations fail. 

Franklin — I am confident they will yield, because a majoiity 
of the English people sympathize with us. Many English- 
men have rejoiced at our victories, and Burke has even 
done so openly in the House of Commons. Remember, 
gentlemen, that such men as the eldest son of Lord 
Chatham and General Sir Jeffery Amherst resigned their 
commissions rather than fight for King George III against 
us. — I have worked hard to help bring success to our 
arms in this war. But in nothing have I striven so hard 
as to encourage the growing attitude of sympathy with 
our cause among the English people. And now, it is with 
the deep emotion of joy that I face the prospect of recon- 
ciliation with Great Britain. 

Adams — But you will accept nothing less than complete inde- 
pendence from England? 

Franklin — The United States, for many years to come, will 
have a separate destiny. There are natural causes at 
work that will make us a great power in the world. 

Adams — You might as well say, sir. that similar causes will 
make inevitable some sort of union between England and 
America. 

Franklin — So I do, sir. We all, British and Americans, have 
common customs and manners, and a common inheritance 
of traditions and laws, and principles of liberty. Above 
all, we have a common language. That fact, sir, v/ill 
prove stronger than all the dissentions and rivalries that 
may tend to divide us. Great Britain and the United 
States must stand together to maintain the civilization 
and liberties they possess in common. I go so far as to 
predict, sir, that the cooperation of Great Britain and 
the United States in peaceful pursuits will someday be 
the hope of the world for the betterment of humanity. 

(Enter the British Commissioners.) 

Oswald — Gentlemen, the Commissioners of His Majesty, George 
III, King of England, agree to your claims as to fish- 
eries and boundaries, and recognize you as Commissioners 
of the United States of America! 
(There is general handshaking.) 

(Curtain) 



